A difficult start to semester two

When I started this blog I assumed it would simply be full of lots of pretty pictures of mountains and glaciers so my mum and dad would know what I'm up to, but I feel like I've also been quite honest about the lows I've had whilst on my year abroad. Even the best things in life come with big downsides and I think it's appropriate to show every side of the experience.  That's why I feel like I should write about this last week, even if it's not the easiest thing to do.

Last Tuesday, two days after I arrived back in Reykjavik, I got a call from my parents to tell me that my grandmother had passed away. It wasn't totally unexpected; she was 93 years old and when I'd seen her over Christmas, I'd realised that she really wasn't in good health. But it was still horrible news to get, and I just wished that I could have postponed my flight and been there with my family in that moment. It's horrible being so far away and feeling so helpless whilst my parents deal with the difficult aftermath of a death.

Of course I was emotional when I found out, but I have to admit that a lot of that emotion was a weird sort of happiness. My grandmother died peacefully, relatively painlessly and with my mum by her side. She had a brilliant, long life and I know that death didn't scare her at all.

The funeral won't be for another two weeks and it's hard to know that I won't be flying home until the 25th January. The thought of attending the funeral is tough; I haven't been to a funeral since my grandfather died when I was 11 and I think it will be a very different experience as an adult. However, I'm looking forward to seeing my family and I think being at home will really help me to accept what has happened.

I'm not good at writing about emotional subjects, and I'm even worse at talking about them. I don't mind my friends knowing about everything but I'm not good at bringing up the conversation and telling people. It's also tough, when I've not been feeling very sociable, to know that I can't just contact my old friends from last semester to take my mind off things. Luckily I have very nice, supportive flatmates.

Now I need to push this all to the back of my head and start enjoying being back in Iceland until I can fly home next week and say a proper goodbye.

Here's to my grandmother.